The Air Force issues NFT challenge coins
WASHINGTON — The Air Force has announced the release of NFT challenge coins this week that will be backed by their cryptocurrency, Blue Falcoin. The move comes weeks after the Air Force disclosed a $1.7 million investment in Herbalife.
The announcement was made during a Twitch stream by former Enron CFO and current Air Force Secretary Frank Kendall: “Bro, you gotta trust me. We’re gonna be legends after this. LEGANDS (sp). Crypto is the future, bro. We is the future. The dollar is not a dollar, but crypto is the new dollar. We can be like Elon Musk and John McAfee. In and out, pump and dump, just like Iraq.”
Blue Falcoin, the massively failed Air Force cryptocurrency, will be used to back the digital challenge coins. Blue Falcoin lost 90% of its value earlier this year following a drop in the share price of Bed Bath & Beyond. It is currently trading at 0.000000000002¢.
The inaugural coin was on NFT’s trading site Open Sea shortly after the announcement from Kendall. Originally bid for $20,000, the coin depicting Hiroshima’s bombing was eventually purchased by Reddit user /u/vladamirputinmybutt for $3.
After the announcement, observers noted that Air Force Chief of Staff General Charles Brown tweeted over 200 times promoting the NFT coins. For example:
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“Call us the Space Force because we’re going to the MOON!”
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“General Milley is an old boomer ass fiat-loving bitch.”
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“FREE MARTIN SHKRELI.”
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“Can you mix cocaine, viagra and ambien?” (This appears to be a Google search that Brown accidentally tweeted)”
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“WARNING: Screendumping our NFT will result in an instant drone attack”
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“My Twitter has been hacked. Disregard all tweets from last night.”
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“Divorce Lawyer Near Me.” (This also appears to be a Google search that was accidentally tweeted)
“I busted my pants and cried when I heard the news. The Air Force is BASED” said one moron.
“I just took out a $300 loan from my wife’s boyfriend’s daughter to buy one of the NFTs from a cook at DFAC. Printed it out for me there,” said another moron.
At press time, analysts said this was a big chance for the Air Force. Only time will not care, the coin has collapsed.
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