Joe Blundo’s list of future types of bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies

Well, this cryptocurrency thing seems to have some flaws.

I’ve never been that into it. Pouring my savings into an unregulated hipster business backed by Larry David and Gwyneth Paltrow somehow doesn’t seem like a particularly wise financial move.

Even the names scared me. “Bitcoin” sounds cheap. “Shiba Inu” is named after a breed of dog. (And the dogs themselves are worth significantly more than the currency.)

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So I was already skeptical before billions of dollars disappeared in the collapse of what FTX is. Now? I’m more wedded than ever to plain old currency, which I also don’t understand, but I’m less likely to have been invented at a frat party.

Still, I don’t predict the end of alternative currencies. Far from. I’m sure many new forms of them will emerge once the public forgets how crazy this first round has been.

Of course, we live in a world of endless consumer choice now, so no single form of currency – crypto or otherwise – is likely to suit all investors. I think currencies will become increasingly exotic as time goes on.

Here are some cryptocurrency alternatives that I’m sure are just over the horizon:

Klepto Currency: Especially money setups that enable the 1% to avoid taxes in all sorts of creative ways. Oh, wait, that’s the system we have now. Forget it.

Pepto Currency: Just like regular currency, only it’s pink.

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