Bitcoin Has Failed 2022 – Bitcoin Magazine
This is an opinion editorial by Aleks Svetski, author of “The Uncommunist Manifesto,” founder of The Bitcoin Times and host of the “Wake Up Podcast with Svetski.”
It is October 2022. Bitcoin is again below $20,000.
RIP bitcoin. You have finally died. You’ve lost your luster. Ponzi is over. The performance is over. It’s time to go home.
Next stop, $10,000, then $1,000, then $0.
In this essay I will channel my inner self Nassim Taleb, Frances CoppolaJim Cramer, Peter Schiff and Paul Krugman to prove it this timebitcoin has really failed!
Bitcoin has no hard cap, you can share it!
Let’s begin by exploring the big brain idea of ”inflation via divisibility”, proposed by the incredible Coppola. Her theory could be how we solve world hunger and actually feed everyone with a single pizza because “subdivision eliminates scarcity.”
It is truly extraordinary stuff.
Fan clubs of hers have begun to appear in chartered financial analyst (CFA) circles around the world. Watch Dick below:
According to the experts, if you can break things down, you can actually make more of them!
Lord Keynes himself could never have imagined such wonders.
Then there’s Paul Krugman. One of the greatest of the greats, the world faxed its opinion, having been on the wrong side of history (again). I think he’s right this time. Bitcoin has failed.
Fiat geniuses and Nobel laureates like Krugman are known for their incredible predictions, whether regarding the impact of the internet, or more recently, Bitcoin.
Krugman has been warning us all for years now about the danger of being involved in Bitcoin. Have you listened?
Young Liron Shapira below must have been:
Oh, Shapira. How could we not have noticed that bitcoin fell 80% (again) and that despite the fact that the same thing has happened many times during the last decade, that this time will be different, in the face of magnitude more hash rate, wallets, users and technical development?
Gosh. Bitcoiners are such ignorant idiots. They have no idea!
It’s over for retail. There are no more people on the planet who need solid money and savings that won’t melt like ice…
Back to US dollars we go:
Oops…that’s the logarithmic chart. The real difference is better represented in absolute terms. This recent “bitcoin is dead” phase can be seen in the bottom right corner, where the arrow is pointing. This proves the point unequivocally. Bitcoin is dead.
See! The USD may suffer a bit, but with that at least we get cheap TVs!
Reader: Please ignore the top half of the following diagram. Things like food, healthcare and housing are not important. What matters is that we have a regulated medium of exchange issued by fossils at the central bank. Only in this way can we have a clearly functional society where irrelevant conveniences like medical services go up in price while TVs go down!
Facebook to Myspace!
Bitcoin has failed to innovate. In 2022, we have created faster, newer, more “decentralized” blockchains, like Solana. Never mind that backwards Solana is actually “Anal OS.” It is only a coincidence that consists of it poisonous smell Gigi.
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We’ve moved on from old school proof-of-work technologies. We now use energy-efficient consensus mechanisms as proof of stake:
Also – just in case you haven’t noticed, the Federal Reserve isn’t printing more money, so now venture capital firms have decided to take on printing instead. The methodology is brilliant and quite simple:
Take a little bit of seed money, mix it with some tech buzzwords, wrap it in a very healthy dose of modern marketing with friends on Facebook and Google, and have it served up by everyone’s favorite Instagram celebrity.
It is a beautiful thing.
Why would anyone need something as boring as good money in a world where money doesn’t even have to grow on trees, but can be conjured up with a few lines of code?
Why would anyone need energy money, inconveniently anchored in the laws of thermodynamics which thus cannot be printed, changed or manipulated, when one can only recruit hedge fund managers and washed-up bears from investment banks to pump digital Ponzi schemes?
I mean, just look at the caliber of people who support “crypto”:
Seriously man.
You Bitcoiners have philosophers, engineers, writers, artists and memes.
What are they good for?
We have “influencers” and JPMorgan executives, because “cRyPtO is dA fEwTcHa.”
Bitcoin is for losers
It has clearly failed because in 2022 you can be an artist and get paid directly. You can monetize your incredible Fiverr-created or AI-generated JPEG on OpenSea and the lemmings…I mean “fans”…will buy it because they love your art!
Didn’t you know this?
Why on Earth would you still need Bitcoin when you can do this?
NFTs have and will continue to take the world by storm.
And once again, Bitcoiners have failed to evolve and change with the times. Just like they missed ICOs, they miss NFTs. And they will miss more.
Why? Because there is much more…
Have you heard of Metaverse, or the decentralized country on the blockchain? Why would you own real land in the real world, or something as useless as a “STORE OF VALUE” when you can unusually own land on a $1.3 billion network like Decentraland?
Metaverse projects are backed by the smartest people in the world, like Andreessen Horowitz, and it really is the future. Join us and the other 38 people on the network.
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It’s a new world and Bitcoiners are old news.
This is what happens when you don’t adapt and adapt to the world around you. You miss out on everything. Even on free money.
Dividend!
You Bitcoiners are so stupid that you don’t even get any dividends. You sit there with your stupid stores of value, locked in wallets doing absolutely nothing! Seriously?
It’s 2022. Didn’t you know you have to make your money work for you? That’s what cryptocurrencies and DeFi are all about! Another reason why bitcoin is so stupid.
Using the power of root vegetables, we’ve figured out how to conjure returns from digital money conjured from code, which in turn conjured from the imaginations of the smartest 20-somethings in the world!
It’s magic all the way down and we make all kinds of money.
DeFi, CeFi, yield, yams. We have everything.
What do you have? Store of value. Huh!
At least some of you are smart enough to wrap your BTC in ETH and stake it, or at least put your bitcoin to work for 3%.
Sure there may be some risks, but you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs. And that’s what Bitcoiners don’t understand. To progress, you need to move quickly and break things.
Source: Google
Source: CoinDesk
The facts
Bitcoiners just don’t get it. They are a brainwashed cult full of fascist conspiracy theorists and extremists who are too concerned with being toxic shitbags rather than coming to terms with reality.
This is why they are all wrong. The rest of us, living in the real world, know the facts. And they are quite simple:
- Bitcoin is old technology. It’s like the Myspace of cryptocurrency.
- Central banks raise interest rates, which means they will never print money again. Jerome Powell is the new Paul Volcker and he is going to sort things out, while Christine Lagarde, together with her friends at the European Central Bank, is going to save Europe.
- The great leaders at the World Economic Forum all have our best interests at heart. They want to make the world green, and want to help central banks create a global central bank digital currency (CBDC) that is so much better than bitcoin.
- Unlike CBDCs which will be given to everyone, bitcoin is so unevenly distributed that 10 people own, like, everything. They can change the rules if they really want to. Richard Heart said it, and he’s always right.
- Then of course there is the risk of Satoshi Nakamoto moving his bitcoin. It will prove that it is not immutable. People are starting to realize this.
- Bitcoin does not have a security budget or a development budget. When the block reward expires, all the miners will go broke because in 120 years the price of bitcoin will be $1000, so there is not enough to earn from fees!
- And without a development budget, who will upgrade Bitcoin to Proof of Stake? Did you ever think about it? I bet you didn’t!
And see. Most importantly, bitcoin is not even real. I mean – have you even touched one? Didn’t think so. How can something like that be worth anything? There is no intrinsic value.
At the very least, these are all reasons why you should have a diverse portfolio, because you never know what the next bitcoin will be.
It’s been around for 13 years and it’s about time it stopped going up. And with everything that’s going on around the world, I think it’s pretty obvious at this point. If you can’t see that, even with all the evidence from the experts, I don’t know what else to tell you.
Except of course:
Have fun staying poor!
This is a guest post by Alex Svetskyauthor of “The Uncommunist Manifesto“, founder of Bitcoin Times and hosted by The Wake Up Podcast. Opinions expressed are entirely their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of BTC Inc or Bitcoin Magazine.
