Trump wants “Nice Guy Credit” for not appreciating NFTs

Photo-Illustration: Intelligences; Images: collecttrumpcards.com/Getty Images

Two weeks after being indicted on 34 felony counts related to paying hush money to a porn star, Donald Trump isn’t just surviving, he’s thrive. He is running laps around likely 2024 rival Ron DeSantis. He’s days away from dropping his revenge parlor book, Letter to Trump. And on Tuesday, the former president returned to Instagram for the first time since being banned for inciting a riot to plug series two of his lucrative NFT collection.

But he has one problem: He knows that no one – especially not “Fake News” – is going to give him credit for not making his NFT venture even trickier than it already is.

We know this because Trump posted a nearly 500-word lament as the caption to one of his four Instagram posts announcing the new batch of non-fungible tokens.

“I hope everyone notices, and I’m sure the fake news won’t, that I’m leaving the price of the trading cards the same as last time, even though they sell MANY TIMES MORE (it’s called MARKET!) ) and sold out almost immediately, because I want my fans and supporters to make money and have fun with it,” Trump wrote. “I could have raised the price MUCH HIGHER and I think it would have still sold well, with a lot more money that comes to me, but I chose not to. I WANT NO CREDIT FROM THE NICE GUY?”

This was accompanied by a shot of the NFT depicting Trump as Superman (one of his favorite motifs). Not all heroes wear capes – and if they don’t, they should definitely keep posting pictures of themselves as superheroes until people get the message.

Trump announced his first NFT collection in December with a delightfully tacky two minute video which gave off big 90s infomercial vibes. He made a video announcement for series two as well, but for some reason he only appears as a disembodied voice-over to a still in this one.

“Series two of the new collection features incredible artwork of me as a rock star and also as a monster trucker,” says Trump. “People love to collect baseball cards, but why settle for that when you can collect the best trading cards in history?”

This last line appears over a shot of an NFT showing Trump on a golden board, surfing in a business suit over a sea of ​​bills with his face on them.

Trump’s Instagram NFT rant was mostly correct. Series two, like the first set of NFTs, sold out within a day. He probably could have squeezed more than $99 out of his followers, who have proven willing to buy even pretend MAGA credit cards. And no member of Fake News, including this reporter, gives him “‘NICE GUY’ CREDIT.” But I’ll give him this: The NFT of Trump hanging ten on a wave of fake money is probably the biggest trading card in history.